Snowballs in hell

‘What can Jojo Binay be doing right to explain his rise in the poll surveys?’

From the November 19, 2009 Malaya
ROMEO Y. LIM

LOOKING at the recent Pulse Asia survey, I was not very surprised except for a few entries.

As expected, Senator Noynoy Aquino led the presidential survey at 44 percent with his running mate Senator Mar Roxas also leading the vice-presidentiable s with 37 percent.

Well, considering the initial volley of 51-61 percent in previous localized surveys of Senator Noynoy, I think the 44 percent seems to be a predictable figure nationwide. And, with the exodus of Lakas members to the Liberal Party, we can expect an exodus of support from Gibo to Noynoy.

In the senatorial preferences, I can still see the same names of those who participated in previous senatorial races. Awareness is basically an important factor in these surveys and from the looks of it, we will just be returning the same senators except for a few newbies who are nonetheless well known such as Willie Revillame and Edu Manzano (who has announced his candidacy as vice-president of Secretary Gilbert Teodoro).

What surprised me though, was the performance of Makati Mayor Jejomar Binay. Since I am not really a survey fan, I do not look at the procession of surveys that pummel the media at regular intervals. I vote according to conscience and not influence. I do, however, take a peek every now and then just to familiarize myself so I am not mistaken for living under a rock.

From the last time I looked at the surveys, which was several months ago, Mayor Binay was languishing at the bottom of the heap. In fact, he could not even make it to one percent.

But now I am surprised that he has garnered 13 percent of the total respondents sharing space with the once very popular Vice-President Noli de Castro. In fact, he has even surpassed Senator Jinggoy Estrada as a probable vice-presidentiable although Jinggoy is set on running for senator in a margin that puts him on top of all other senatoriables.

When I wrote about a friend’s observation of a potential Noynoy-Binay win some weeks back, I must admit that I took my friend’s observation with a grain of salt. With the popularity of Senator Mar Roxas back then and even now as a vice-presidentiable topnotcher, I thought Binay had the same chance as a snowball in hell.

But the recent survey has made me sit up and notice. What can he be doing right?

In fact in the most vote-rich region in the country, the National Capital Region, he beats Loren by as much as 7 percent and falls behind Mar only by 10 percent. Forgive my incredulity but again, this man was way, way behind the surveys managing a miniscule .1 percent in a survey only several months back.

A political analyst commented that most presidentiables and vice-presidentiable s often talk about what they can and will do for the country.

Perhaps, Binay’s appeal comes from saying what he has actually done for his city and translating this into doing this for the country.

Perhaps, his growing appeal lies in his own persona. A self-made man, he has shown that it is possible to make this country great again without the booming rhetoric but with a determined vision.

He just means what he says. And, in the world of politics this way of doing things is as rare as a snowball in hell.

Funniest Fragrance Commercial by Happy Slip

Brilliant and amusing!

Manny Pacquiao and his fans

Video from Happy Slip. Funniest video on Pacman's fans.

The greatest fighter who ever lived

Promoter Bob Arum told Manny Pacquio after the fight, "You're going to be the greatest fighter who ever lived."

This was after the Hatton fight. Bob Arum knows what he is talking about, having promoted great boxers like Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson in his youth.

Manny Pacquio is the only fighter in the long history of boxing to secure seven world titles in seven different weight classes.

Manny Pacquiao appears on the cover of TIME Magazine 20 years after former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson attained the same feat.

He is featured on the cover of TIME Magazine - Asia edition. Out of the many legendary fighters to have fought in the last 25 years, Mike Tyson was the last boxer featured in 1988.

The likes of Oscar de la Hoya, Roy Jones, Jr., Sugar Ray Leonard, Thomas Hearns, Roberto Duran, Julio Cesar Chavez, and Evander Holyfield were not featured on the cover of TIME.

Prior to Tyson, Muhammad Ali was last on the cover in 1978.

Pacquiao vs Cotto fight

Prayer for Flood Victims

NAME IT and CLAIM IT, BELIEVE IT and RECEIVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a POWERFUL PRAYER! When you are DOWN to nothing ... God is UP to something'


Father, in the Name of Jesus, bless me even while I'm reading this prayer and bless the one that sent this to me in a special way. Open doors in our lives today, Save and set free!
Give us a double portion of your Spirit as we take back everything that the devil has stolen:
****Emotional Health
****Physical Health
****Finances
****Relationships
****Children
**** Jobs
****Homes
****Marriages
I cancel every plot, plan and scheme the enemy has devised Against us in the NAME OF JESUS. And I declare:
NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST US WILL
PROSPER. I speak LIFE into every dead situation. And, I thank you that nothing is over until YOU say it's over! Speak prophetically into our lives and to our situations:
****our households are blessed;
**** our health is blessed;
**** our marriages are blessed;
**** our finances are blessed;
**** our relationships are blessed;
**** our businesses are blessed;
**** our jobs are blessed;
**** our children are blessed;
**** our grandchildren are blessed;
**** our parents are blessed;
**** our siblings are blessed;
**** our ministries are blessed;
**** our decisions are blessed;
**** our friends are blessed.
**** Mortgages are paid and debts canceled; our hearts' desires are on the way; According to YOUR perfect will and plan for our lives.
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORSAKE US! IN
JESUS' NAME!
AMEN!
Say this prayer, and then send it to EVERYBODY YOU KNOW.
Within hours countless people will have prayed for you, and you will have caused a multitude of people to pray to God for each other 'Safety is not the absence of danger, but is the presence of God'

A kid asked Jesus... How much do U love me? Jesus replied, 'I love! You this much.' and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us. If you believe in God, you will send this to everyone on your list. I like you because of who you are to me. I treat you as a true friend. But if I don't get this back, I get the hint, you don't have time.

Send this to all people in your list within 30 min and something good will happen to you NOW.
This is not a fake...apparently...copy and paste this to 15 people in the next 10 min. And you will have one of the best days of your life tomorrow!!!

Flood Horror Stories (Part 2)

He wanted to keep coming back to save his other neighbors but his tired body could not anymore. So he decided to take a rest at his sister's house at Valle Verde till around 9 a.m. today. Then they went back only to find how cars were piled up like matchboxes. His brother's Patrol, Camry, and Galant were supposed to be safely parked at the village main avenue as historically this was the highest point of the village. Sadly, the cars were nowhere to be found, washed away like toy cars... but what was even worse was seeing bodies already floating around, including the body of a 3-month old baby stuck in a car windshield!

As it was too devastating a sight for them to take already, they decided to just lend the boat to for others to use to save more lives.

Meanwhile, we see our government making all these excuses why they cannot save people faster... Meanwhile we hear of Devil Gloria Arroyo spending the PHP 800 m emergency contingecy fund to finance her recent foreign trips... Meanwhile we hear of Mikey Arroyo shamelessly admitting how his net worth ballooned within the few years that his family have been in power! SUCH SHAMELESS GREED!!!

I love the Philippines and I do wish for a better Philippines for my children's sake. But during times like these it makes you wish that you were living in another country where you dial 911 and help will be forthcoming.

Rey had the presence of mind, sheer will, and financial resources to buy a boat on the spot and put matters into his own hands. But what if it were the other way around and he had to wait for our USELESS GOVERNMENT to rescue his dad? We only shudder at the thought of what would have happened to his family, especially Lolo Manny, if and when rescue finally comes --which for many less fortunate souls, until now have not come!

Flood Horror Stories (Part I)

Yesterday, at the height of the floods, my sister's husband Rey whose family lives at Provident Village in Marikina, got a call from his brother. They were already at the roof of their 2-storey house -- his brother, his wife, 2 kids, his sister, and their 85-year old dad who just got out of the hospital last week.

Not wanting to rely on our USELESS government to rescue them, Rey went to Makati and scoured the stores for a motorized boat that he can buy. At around 6 p.m., he finally found a store at Reposo Street selling a 6-seater motorized boat for over 100k. But since water at Reposo was lagpas-tao, he persuaded the store owner to just ride the boat and bring it to Greenbelt where he was.

Immediately after, Rey put the boat on his pick-up and drove as far as he could en route to Marikina. The nearest dry land was the Sta. Clara Church which was still way too far from Provident.. Suffice it to say that for somebody who was maneuvering a motor boat for the first time in his life, Rey arrived Provident at 12:30 a.m. When he entered the village, everyone was screaming thinking that it was already the government's rescue team. REY WAS THE FIRST TO BRAVE PROVIDENT ON A MOTORIZED BOAT with just SHEER WILL steering him. Meanwhile, our USELESS GOVERNMENT was holding a press conference announcing their relief operations as they kept on saying that they could not get into Provident just yet to save people hanging on to their dear lives on top of their roofs because the currents were too strong for them!! HELLO!!! Please tell me why they can't and my private citizen brother in law who does not even know how to drive a boat before he purchased it could???

Rey had to turn a deaf ear to people screaming for help as he entered their village because he had his family, especially his 85-year old dad in mind. The waters were too high that he was actually holding on to the Meralco wires! He was shouting for his brother's name as he could not even locate where their house was amidst the sea of mudwater. When he finally found them, he had to hold back from breaking down as he saw his dad at the apex of their roof holding to a string of blankets just so he will not get swept by the currents! He "parked" his boat on their roof gutter and first loaded his dad and 8-year old nephew who by that time was already chilling from the cold. They have been atop the roof since 1 p.m. with wet clothes on and no food or water to even drink.

It took Rey 2 hours to navigate back to Sta. Clara church to drop off his dad and nephew, came back for his sister in law and another nephew. It was 3 a.m. by the time Rey reached Sta. Clara church again, with his sister in law and nephew, before making a final trip to get his sister. By this time, media were there and NDCC people assisting his sister-in-law to get off the boat. GIDO TEODORO had the gall to tell media that government rescue operations are now on-going, alluding to the footage of my brother in law rescuing his family!!! And these stupid NDCC people were even asking Rey's sister in law to remove her life jacket and return to them! Hello, everything was theirs, from the boat, to the life jackets, to the sheer will and determination to keep their family alive!!!

Please Donate to Typhoon Victims

Paalam Kaibigan

I would like to inform you that tomorrow will be my last day. I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone that I had the privilege to work with. It was a big and very significant chapter of my professional career, and it was such a pleasure to have work with each and everyone of you. I have learned a lot of things along the way, it was quite an adventure.

Some people say that you stop working the moment you enjoy what you're doing in your work. Well I guess I did enjoy, that's why all the years had gone by so fast.

Particularly, I would like to thank the following people who had been my very good friends all these years:

- my mentors in Supply Chain
- my best friends, lunch mates, and confidantes
- my first boss in Singapore and a good friend
- my first business counterparts who contributed to the success of my first big project
- for the music and food exchanges :)
- for taking care of all the things I need, especially the mails and travels
- for the French language lessons, now I'm seriously considering to take formal lessons in the Phils. :)
- for making sure I always have a share of the fruits even when I'm not around

And for all the other wonderful people I met and work with here in Singapore, Shanghai, Bangkok, and Tokyo offices, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Change is ALWAYS a good thing, I'm just a bit sad that this "change" will require me to leave. However, we'll never know what the future holds for us and maybe someday our paths will cross again.

Should you find yourself traveling to the Philippines in the future and need some assistance, please do not hesitate to let me know.

This is ME signing OFF.

Social Media Changes History

How the economy became a mess!

American Casino movie trailer from Leslie and Andrew Cockburn on Vimeo.

Why Is The Philippines Poor - Dr. A.Martin

THE DIFFERENCE

The difference between the poor countries and the rich ones is not the age of the country:

This can be shown by countries like India & Egypt , that are more than 2000 years old, but are poor.

On the other hand, Canada , Australia & New Zealand , that 150 years ago were inexpressive, today are developed countries, and are rich.

The difference between poor & rich countries does not reside in the available natural resources.

Japan has a limited territory, 80% mountainous, inadequate for agriculture & cattle raising, but it is the second world economy. The country is like an immense floating factory, importing raw materials from the whole world and exporting manufactured products.

Another example is Switzerland, which does not plant cocoa but has the best chocolate in the world. In its little territory they raise animals and plant the soil during 4 months per year. Not enough, they produce dairy products of the best quality! It is a small country that transmits an image of security, order & labor, which made it the world's strongest, safest place.

Executives from rich countries who communicate with their counterparts in poor countries show that there is no significant intellectual difference.

Race or skin color are also not important: immigrants labeled lazy in their countries of origin are the productive power in rich European countries.

What is the difference then? The difference is the attitude of the people, framed along the years by the education & the culture & flawed tradition.

On analyzing the behavior of the people in rich & developed countries, we find that the great majority follow the following principles in their lives:

1. Ethics, as a basic principle.
2. Integrity.
3. Responsibility.
4. Respect to the laws & rules.
5. Respect to the rights of other citizens.
6. Work loving.
7. Strive for savings & investment.
8. Will of super action.
9. Punctuality.
10. and of course...Discipline

In poor countries, only a minority follow these basic principles in their daily life.

The Philippines is not poor because we lack natural resources or because nature was cruel to us. In fact, we are supposedly rich in natural resources.

We are poor because we lack the correct attitude. We lack the will to comply with and teach these functional principles of rich & developed societies.

If you do not forward this message nothing will happen to you. Your pet will not die, you will not be fired, you will not have bad luck for seven years, and also, you will not get sick or go hungry.

But those may happen because of your lack of discipline & laziness,
your love for intrigue and politics, your indifference to saving for the future, your stubborn attitude.

If you love your country, let this message circulate so that many Filipinos could reflect about this, & CHANGE, ACT!

Jollibeer and Jolly Sisig

Totoo kaya to?!

New Year - Employee Rules and Regulations

*Dress Code*

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.

************

*Sick Days*

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

************

*Personal Days*

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

************

*Lunch Break*

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.

************

*Mails*

Don't read junk and forwarded mails.

************

Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,

All questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management.

Pandemic influenza

Statement to the press by the WHO Director-General

Ladies and gentlemen,
In late April, WHO announced the emergence of a novel influenza A virus.

This particular H1N1 strain has not circulated previously in humans. The virus is entirely new.
The virus is contagious, spreading easily from one person to another, and from one country to another. As of today, nearly 30,000 confirmed cases have been reported in 74 countries.

This is only part of the picture. With few exceptions, countries with large numbers of cases are those with good surveillance and testing procedures in place.

Spread in several countries can no longer be traced to clearly-defined chains of human-to-human transmission. Further spread is considered inevitable.

I have conferred with leading influenza experts, virologists, and public health officials. In line with procedures set out in the International Health Regulations, I have sought guidance and advice from an Emergency Committee established for this purpose.

On the basis of available evidence, and these expert assessments of the evidence, the scientific criteria for an influenza pandemic have been met.

I have therefore decided to raise the level of influenza pandemic alert from phase 5 to phase 6.

The world is now at the start of the 2009 influenza pandemic.

We are in the earliest days of the pandemic. The virus is spreading under a close and careful watch.

No previous pandemic has been detected so early or watched so closely, in real-time, right at the very beginning. The world can now reap the benefits of investments, over the last five years, in pandemic preparedness.

We have a head start. This places us in a strong position. But it also creates a demand for advice and reassurance in the midst of limited data and considerable scientific uncertainty.

Thanks to close monitoring, thorough investigations, and frank reporting from countries, we have some early snapshots depicting spread of the virus and the range of illness it can cause.

We know, too, that this early, patchy picture can change very quickly. The virus writes the rules and this one, like all influenza viruses, can change the rules, without rhyme or reason, at any time.

Globally, we have good reason to believe that this pandemic, at least in its early days, will be of moderate severity. As we know from experience, severity can vary, depending on many factors, from one country to another.

On present evidence, the overwhelming majority of patients experience mild symptoms and make a rapid and full recovery, often in the absence of any form of medical treatment.

Worldwide, the number of deaths is small. Each and every one of these deaths is tragic, and we have to brace ourselves to see more. However, we do not expect to see a sudden and dramatic jump in the number of severe or fatal infections.

We know that the novel H1N1 virus preferentially infects younger people. In nearly all areas with large and sustained outbreaks, the majority of cases have occurred in people under the age of 25 years.

In some of these countries, around 2% of cases have developed severe illness, often with very rapid progression to life-threatening pneumonia.

Most cases of severe and fatal infections have been in adults between the ages of 30 and 50 years.

This pattern is significantly different from that seen during epidemics of seasonal influenza, when most deaths occur in frail elderly people.

Many, though not all, severe cases have occurred in people with underlying chronic conditions. Based on limited, preliminary data, conditions most frequently seen include respiratory diseases, notably asthma, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, autoimmune disorders, and obesity.

At the same time, it is important to note that around one third to half of the severe and fatal infections are occurring in previously healthy young and middle-aged people.

Without question, pregnant women are at increased risk of complications. This heightened risk takes on added importance for a virus, like this one, that preferentially infects younger age groups.

Finally, and perhaps of greatest concern, we do not know how this virus will behave under conditions typically found in the developing world. To date, the vast majority of cases have been detected and investigated in comparatively well-off countries.

Let me underscore two of many reasons for this concern. First, more than 99% of maternal deaths, which are a marker of poor quality care during pregnancy and childbirth, occurs in the developing world.

Second, around 85% of the burden of chronic diseases is concentrated in low- and middle-income countries.

Although the pandemic appears to have moderate severity in comparatively well-off countries, it is prudent to anticipate a bleaker picture as the virus spreads to areas with limited resources, poor health care, and a high prevalence of underlying medical problems.

Ladies and gentlemen

A characteristic feature of pandemics is their rapid spread to all parts of the world. In the previous century, this spread has typically taken around 6 to 9 months, even during times when most international travel was by ship or rail.

Countries should prepare to see cases, or the further spread of cases, in the near future. Countries where outbreaks appear to have peaked should prepare for a second wave of infection.

Guidance on specific protective and precautionary measures has been sent to ministries of health in all countries. Countries with no or only a few cases should remain vigilant.

Countries with widespread transmission should focus on the appropriate management of patients. The testing and investigation of patients should be limited, as such measures are resource intensive and can very quickly strain capacities.

WHO has been in close dialogue with influenza vaccine manufacturers. I understand that production of vaccines for seasonal influenza will be completed soon, and that full capacity will be available to ensure the largest possible supply of pandemic vaccine in the months to come.

Pending the availability of vaccines, several non-pharmaceutical interventions can confer some protection.

WHO continues to recommend no restrictions on travel and no border closures.

Influenza pandemics, whether moderate or severe, are remarkable events because of the almost universal susceptibility of the world’s population to infection.

We are all in this together, and we will all get through this, together.
Thank you.

Touching Blog

The below is a very touching (lots of funny posts too) blog of a parent's journey in their battle for a terminal illness of their child.

The mom, most of the time writing in the blog, seems to be a very good writer as she composes lots of mini poems to express her emotions too.

http://www.savejacksimbulan.blogspot.com/

How the fight started...

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started.....


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...


A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Shit. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through the bushes and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started..... .


I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream..

And then the fight started....


A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started..... .

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.'
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

My Favorite Christmas Cookie

1 cup of water
4 large eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup nuts
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and
drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make
sure the Cuervo is still OK. Try another cup . . . just in case. Turn off
the miserer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit. Pick the friggin fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the
fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two
cups of salt, or something.

Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon
of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat
off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose
Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas.

He Said To Me.... I Said To him

He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him .......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me.. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him ... . They don't have time

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him .. . They already have boyfriends.

I said. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said. . . A widow.

He said to me . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him ... . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they think they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever:Is a woman's way of saying F--YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Sa Iyong Paglumbay

Sa kabila ng iyong dalumhati

Lunes na makulimlim nakikisama

Kami ay lubos mong napangiti

Sa iyong nakakatuwang talumhati

Datapwat ang muling akala

Na ang dahilan ng iyong paglumbay

Ay ang pagpapakasal nong Biyernes ni Pana

Pero di bale ikaw naman ay may isa pang Papa

Ikaw rin ay lubusang maaalala

Kulang ang alaskahan kung ikaw ay wala

Ngunit labis naming ikakatuwa

Dahil ika’y nakita naming nagdalaga sa lupa ng SirenangLeon

Kaya kung ikaw ay mapadaang muli sa Singapura

Ikaw ay mapasabi

At kung kami ay narito pa

Siguradong tayo ay magkikita-kita.

Grabe ka, makata ka pala Eliza!

Ingat sa pag-inom at baka ma-ulit ang pag-ikot ng paligid tulad sa Diageo.

Yong pag-sideline ng tulad sa Kamayan, iwasan okay.

Tatandaan namin ang 10-10-10!

Ingat lagi and keep in touch. We miss you!

Napatawa mo kami sa dalawa mong mail!

Ako'y nalulumbay...

Sa aking mga Kaibigan,

Ako'y nalulumbay sa kadahilanang mawawalan na ng bisa ang aking email address.....

Higit sa lahat, ay aking sobrang namimiss ang mga tao sa SIA bldg.. pati un nsa DEAGEO bldg..

ang paghahanap ng mauupuan... ang pagkain ng lunch.. ang pagkape...
ang pagkain ng dessert... ang pagbili ng inumin..
ang paghingi ng sukli na 50 cen... ang pagpalitan ng kuru-kuro..
ang pagchikahan.. na madalas ay ako ang napagdidiskitahan...
pero okay lang sken un.. basta, kung saan kayo masaya... suportahan taka... ;-)
isama ko na rin ang Tanjong Pagar... na kung saan ako ay..................

kumakain sa Kamayan..... (kala nyo a... isip nyo suma-side-line noh! =P )

isa pang napakahalagang bahagi neto ay ang lau pa sat..
salamat LAU PA SAT! lagi mo kaming binubusog..... at nawa'y patuloy mo silang busugin...
naging masaya ang aking eksperiensya sa Singapura dahil sa inyong lahat..
kaya't taos pusong pasasalamat ang aking alay...

Good luck to all of you... more power on your career and wish you all good health...
all the best for you and your family!
God bless and I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

To all
My friends....
and colleagues....
Thank you....

It's been a pleasure working with you. Good bye and see you again.. =)

A BETTER WAY FORWARD...

Anagrams

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: !

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:

HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:

When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER

Children Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACH ER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie....... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' _________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Chinese Lunch Menu

Chinese lunch planned menu :

- Stewed Beancurd with Minced meat and egg plant
- Pan fried bitter melon egg
- Sauteed diced chicken with Cashew Nut & Dried Chilli
- Braised spare rib with sweet & sour sauce
- Sauteed sliced beef with Hong Kong Kai Lan
- Sweet & sour sliced fish

Please let me know if you could not attend or if you could not eat any dish on the menu.