My Favorite Christmas Cookie

1 cup of water
4 large eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup nuts
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and
drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make
sure the Cuervo is still OK. Try another cup . . . just in case. Turn off
the miserer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit. Pick the friggin fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the
fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two
cups of salt, or something.

Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon
of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat
off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose
Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas.