Friday, February 29, 2008

Enthusiastic Salesman




A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

" Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, " Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady


**********
MORAL: Gather All resources before working on any project...!! !

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Makabagong Domestic Helper



Sa sobrang daming DH na college grad, eto na ang makabagong pinoy na DH.....


* Isang makabago at Modernong Inday na iyong masasaksihan dahil
kailangang pang "Global" na tayo!
*
"I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the
use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute
significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity,
productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can
offer will boost the work progress..."


sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo!


"Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state are rapidly converted to
glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When
cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amount
of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation,
cancer, weight gain. One French fry is worse that one cigarette."


sagot ni Inday sa amo nya kung bakit di sya nagluluto ng French fries.
(Nutritionist din pala si Inday!)


"It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can
only imagine how you can handle schizophrenic kids on this educational
institution. Revise your policies because it sucks!"


Inday kasama si Junior sa principal's office. (Tulala ang principal)
"Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages
and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment inflicted
upon you!"


Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na wag malikot


"Nurture others with positive, ruthful words, not words that hurt. It
doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you
mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with
your words."


yan ang sabi ni Inday nung di sya pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo nya


"Dear Sir/Madam,


Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my
proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made
initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could
vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and
demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis."


si Inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke!


"The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased
amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those
actions are irreversible. I do apologize."


nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam (aba, career much si Inday!)
"Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way
of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of the society. I
hate character assassinators!"


reklamo ni Inday ng natsismis sya ng kapitbahay! (di ko kinaya si Inday!)

Amo: Bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!


Inday: A change in weather patterns might have occurred, wreaking havoc
to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the
gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was
heading for.


Amo: (nosebleed!)