On Marriage - Part 2

Testimonials:

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff really Works!"


Son : Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China , a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her!
Dad : That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!! !


Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state , dependent on some machine and fluid from a bottle . If that ever happens, just pull the plug' . She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my beer! She is such a bitch!


The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, what does a woman want? -Sigmund Freud

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." - Patrick Murray

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

My wife and I were very happy for twenty years . Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield