No hostage killed by SWAT

In the August 30 issue of the Philippine Star, the news is that an examination of the shells showed that the hostages were killed by former police officer Rolando Mendoza.

http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=607445&publicationSubCategoryId=63





I don't get it. How can a forensic examination of the spent shells reveal that the hostage-taker killed the hostages? What I know is that the shells may reveal that they came from the hostage-taker's gun but they will never reveal if the slugs that came from those shells killed the hostages. The slugs themselves will determine that and not the shells. No wonder the Philippine police is not exactly respected for its investigative techniques.

from JP

History Mystery

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday .
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause:
Hey, this is one history lesson most people probably will not mind reading!

WHO FIGURED THIS OUT? ???

INCREDIBLE !!!

1) Fold a NEW PINK $20 bill in half...

2) Fold again, taking care to fold it exactly as below

3) Fold the other end, exactly as before

4) Now, simply turn it over...

What a coincidence! A simple geometric fold creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills!!!
COINCIDENCE? YOU DECIDE
As if that wasn't enough. Here is what you've seen...
Firstly The Pentagon on fire...

Then The Twin Towers.

..And now .. look at this!

TRIPLE COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPLE $20 BILL
It gets even better!! 9 + 11=$20!!
This is too interesting to pass up!
Pass it on to your friends

On Marriage - Part 2

Testimonials:

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff really Works!"


Son : Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China , a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her!
Dad : That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!! !


Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state , dependent on some machine and fluid from a bottle . If that ever happens, just pull the plug' . She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my beer! She is such a bitch!


The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, what does a woman want? -Sigmund Freud

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." - Patrick Murray

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

My wife and I were very happy for twenty years . Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

On Marriage - Part I

*MARRIAGE *

*Definition: *the social institution under which a man and woman (in love)
establish their decision to live
as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious
ceremonies, etc., and live happily ever after...OR.....

*A CLOSER LOOK......*

*Fact or fiction (you make the call):

1. *Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

*2. *After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin...they
can't face each other, but,
they still stay together.

*3. *Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks

and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbors listen.

*4.* When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

*5.* Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.

*6. *Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something she says. After marriage, he will fall asleep before she finish.

*7.* Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical,
and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

*8.* They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, that is LOVE.
After marriage, that is SELF DEFENSE.

*9. *A wife becomes a "SEX OBJECT" when every time the husband asks for sex,
she objects.

*10. *Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

*11. *There are two four-letter words that are offensive to men in
marriage - "don't" and "stop", unless, they are used together.

*12. *Marriage is an institution where the man loses his Bachelor's Degree
and the woman gets her Master's Degree.

*13. *In marriage, a man can have words with his wife, but, a woman can have
paragraphs with her husband.

*14.* Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution
for the blind.

*15. *There are 3 stages of SEX in a married life: Tri-weekly, try weekly
and try weakly.

*16. *LOVE is a long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm clock.

*17. *When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But, when a 10-year
married man looks happy, we wonder why.

*18.* Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence ... a LIFE SENTENCE.

Hoax Letter from former Classmate

Obama's plans for the United States.... Told By hi sCollege Class...

This is probably a hoax letter of some sort. He said, "cap and trade has nothing to do with global warming." FALSE.
He probably didn't know anything about the Kyoto Protocol and what it's supposed to do with the reduction of greenhouse gas emissions. He said, "It has everything to do with redistribution of income, government control of the economy and a criminal payoff to Obama's biggest contributors." FALSE again.

The Kyoto Protocol introduced three market-based mechanisms, creating what is now known as the “carbon market.” One of the Kyoto mechanisms is "Emissions Trading," also known as "cap and trade." Member countries are allowed to emit a certain amount of pollutants into the atmosphere (that's the "cap"). Countries that have emission units to spare (units of greenhouse gas emission that they are allowed but not "used," that is, not emitted into the atmosphere) are able to sell their spare capacity to countries that have gone over their limits. This is a new commodity, created in the form of [units of] emission reductions or removals. Projects that reduce or remove greenhouse gases from the atmosphere earn "carbon credits," that can be sold to countries or corporations who have exceeded their caps. Since carbon dioxide (CO2) is the principal greenhouse gas, carbon is now tracked and traded like any other commodity. The market where it is publicly traded
is known as the "carbon market."


From:
To:
FW: Obama's plans for the United States.... Told By his College Class...

If this man's job is paying him a good amount of money spreading libelous garbage such as this then we can surmise that he does not care for the people who lost their jobs after the 8 years of Republican administration that let the big financial firms run amok and brought the country at the precipice of depression (about 4 million), he does not care for people who cannot get medical treatment because they have no insurance (even more than the number of unemployed), There has been nothing in the news about making Puerto Rico the 51st state. In fact Puerto Ricans don't want it. Same with legalizing 12 million illegals, no news.

The only people who would believe him are the uneducated, ignorant and overly religious who cannot reason out what this man is saying.

Idiotic Manchurian Candidate Scenario

Overwhelm The System
Wayne Allyn Root

Barrack Obama is no fool. He is not incompetent. To the contrary, he is brilliant. He knows exactly what he's doing. He is purposely overwhelming the U.S. economy to create systemic failure, economic crisis and social chaos -- thereby destroying capitalism and our country from within.

Barack Obama is my college classmate ( Columbia University , class of '83). As Glenn Beck correctly predicted from day one, Obama is following the plan of Cloward and Piven, two professors at Columbia University . They outlined a plan to socialize America by overwhelming the system with government spending and entitlement demands. Add up the clues below. Taken individually they're alarming. Taken as a whole, it is a brilliant, Machiavellian game plan to turn the United States into a socialist/Marxist state with a permanent majority that desperately needs government for survival ... and can be counted on to always vote for bigger government. Why not? They have no responsibility to pay for it.

-- Universal health care. The health care bill had very little to do with health care. Â It had everything to do with unionizing millions of hospital and health care workers, as well as adding 15,000 to 20,000 new IRS agents (who will join government employee unions). Obama doesn't care that giving free health care to 30 million Americans will add trillions to the national debt. What he does care about is that it cements the dependence of those 30 million voters to Democrats and big government. Who but a socialist revolutionary would pass this reckless spending bill in the middle of a depression?

-- Cap and trade. Like health care legislation having nothing to do with health care, cap and trade has nothing to do with global warming. It has everything to do with redistribution of income, government control of the economy and a criminal payoff to Obama's biggest contributors. Those powerful and wealthy unions and contributors (like GE, which owns NBC, MSNBC and CNBC) can then be counted on to support everything Obama wants. They will kickback hundreds of millions of dollars in contributions to Obama and the Democratic Party to keep them in power. The bonus is that all the new taxes on Americans with bigger cars, bigger homes and businesses helps Obama "spread the wealth around."

-- Make Puerto Rico a state. Why? Who's asking for a 51st state? Who's asking for millions of new welfare recipients and government entitlement addicts in the middle of a depression?  Certainly not American taxpayers. But this has been Obama's plan all along. His goal is to add two new Democrat senators, five Democrat congressman and a million loyal Democratic voters who are dependent on big government.

-- Legalize 12 million illegal immigrants. Just giving these 12 million potential new citizens free health care alone could overwhelm the system and bankrupt America . But it adds 12 million reliable new Democrat voters who can be counted on to support big government. Add another few trillion dollars in welfare, aid to dependent children, food stamps, free medical, education, tax credits for the poor, and eventually Social Security.

-- Stimulus and bailouts. Where did all that money go? It went to Democrat contributors, organizations (ACORN), and unions -- including billions of dollars to save or create jobs of government employees across the country. It went to save GM and Chrysler so that their employees could keep paying union dues. It went to AIG so that Goldman Sachs could be bailed out (after giving Obama almost $1 million in contributions). A staggering $125 billion went to teachers (thereby protecting their union dues). Al l those public employees will vote loyally Democrat to protect their bloated salaries and pensions that are bankrupting America . The country goes broke, future generations face a bleak future, but Obama, the Democrat Party, government, and the unions grow more powerful. The ends justify the means.

-- Raise taxes on small business owners, high-income earners, and job creators. Put the entire burden on only the top 20 percent of taxpayers, redistribute the income, punish success, and reward those who did nothing to deserve it (except vote for Obama). Reagan wanted to dramatically cut taxes in order to starve the government. Obama wants to dramatically raise taxes to starve his political opposition.

With the acts outlined above, Obama and his regime have created a vast and rapidly expanding constituency of voters dependent on big government; a vast privileged class of public employees who work for big government; and a government dedicated to destroying capitalism and installing themselves as socialist rulers by overwhelming the system.

Add it up and you've got the perfect Marxist scheme -- all devised by my Columbia University college classmate Barack Obama using the Cloward and Piven Plan.

Bad Joke for Political Fans

Make sure you go to the bottom of the page.   I hope you could use a good laugh.

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny .

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again.

Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."

The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.  Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican."

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."

Recess at the Asylum

True Love

It was a busy  morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am .
 
I took his vital  signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of  his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as  he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her  health.

He told me that she had been there  for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we  talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He  replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in  five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every  morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said,

'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,

'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you  care about. I just did.

'Life isn't about  how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the  rain.'

We are all getting Older

Enjoy life now-it has an expiration date! :D

Garden snakes can be dangerous

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous.

Yes, grass snakes, *not rattlesnakes.* Here's why:

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants. During a cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden snake was hidden in one of the plants.

When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten
him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out. About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.

They managed to get the husband to the hopsital for a checkup.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and the woman sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor seeing her lying there, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here. .. *do you think that anything MORE could go
haywire ?!?!?!*

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred.

They were about to arrest them all, when the women explained how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors called the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area *(but they did get the house fire out).*

*Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, *

* the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.
*
Awhile later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night.

The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.